The Power of Positivity

Courtesy of Northern Exposures

Hi there and welcome to another moment of the mania! I'm Ann Shannon, the manic writer. I blog about PTSD, encouragement, and write book reviews and romantic fiction. I love that you stopped by, grab a drink and make yourself at home. Leave a comment or find me on social media, I'd love to meet you and get to know you. My passion is military veterans, especially those with PTSD and their caregivers. 

I had a kitty called Oreo, he was black and white. Did you guess that? And very fat. I'm not kidding we sometimes referred to him as a triple-stuff. 

He was also a very negative cat. He didn't like being handled at all. It's strange really because when I first brought him home he was tiny, just 7 weeks old and we handled him all the time, but over the years he began to dislike it more and more. It finally got to the point that I was the only one who could get near him. He loved me, but not as much as he loved the dog. I guess I know where I rank... 

That's a hundred-pound lab he's sleeping with!

He would crawl into my lap and sleep for hours on it. This wasn't always comfortable for me as he weighed close to 25 pounds, but I put up with it because I loved him. Making the decision to put him down was very hard for me but it was best for him, he was very ill and in a lot of pain.

Is there anyone in your life that you feel this way about? You love them but loving them hurts you sometimes. They are a weight in your day that tends to make body parts fall asleep.

I am not suggesting you euthanize them!

I am suggesting you talk to them about their negativity if you can. Tell them how their negativity affects you, help them find things to be positive about in life. If you can't talk to them then you need to take steps to protect yourself. Limit your contact with them, or increase your contact with other more positive people to balance them.

Distancing yourself from negativity is a kindness you can do for yourself. Negativity lowers your motivation, and ambition. By distancing yourself, you create space for positivity in your life. You can choose to surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you, and believe in you. You can believe in yourself and encourage yourself. And in the process you can help your loved ones caught in negativity as well because you will be the example they can follow.

Oreo was a special kitty in my life. He came into it at a time when I needed something cute and cuddly. Over the years, he distanced himself from others but I think he always had a special place in his heart for me. He allowed me to the be the positive influence in his life that he leaned on. Although I never got him to life the others again he always loved me and I cherish those memories.

Is there someone in your life who brings you down? What steps have you taken to minimize the damage? Have your own attitude changes reflected on them and helped? Share your story in the comments below, I'd love to learn how you've dealt with negativity in your life.

It is my goal to end the stigma that comes with PTSD. I blog about PTSD once a week, searching the mountains of information out there and bringing you the best of what I find. I review a book on PTSD every other week and I publish a weekly encouraging reflection and tweet encouraging quotes for PTSD survivors daily, follow me to be encouraged. Together we can make a difference.

When I'm not blogging about PTSD or trying to encourage those of you living with it. I'm an author. I write romance. I just finished my first book and I am revising and editing it. With any luck, it will be published later this year, in the meantime you can get a sample of my work on the web. Original work can be found here, and fanfiction can be found here. Let me know what you think, and tell me how you found me!

Reflections- Enthusiasm

Courtesy of Northern Exposures

Enthusiasm is contagious, so surround yourself with others who are passionate about their life's work. Enthusiastic friends motivate and encourage us to continue on our chosen path, even in the midst of daily challenges (Credit).

Enthusiasm is the starting point for self-help, even if we don't always feel very enthusiastic. More importantly, if we are the caregiver for a loved one with PTSD is is our enthusiasm that will encourage them to remain positive because it is a positive attitude that will encourage your enthusiasm.

It can be difficult to maintain your enthusiasm when you are struggling with PTSD or mental illness which is why it's vital you surround yourself with others who also cultivate an attitude of enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is contagious and since this week's blog post is about self-help, enthusiasm is a fantastic idea to reflect on today.

Courtesy of Kael Schindler

What can you do today to cultivate enthusiasm in your attitude? Can you choose one task and get excited about it? Can you choose one hobby you love and immerse yourself in it for an hour? Can you call one friend who is guaranteed to cheer you on and ignite your enthusiasm with their own?

Courtesy of Flickr

I find my enthusiasm burns brighter when I am encouraging others, that's why I work on this blog. I also love to write love stories. Is that cliché? Maybe, but it inspires me to keep going and write more and more each day. If writing romance is my ticket to an enthusiastic attitude then that's the path I'll take.

Courtesy of Flickr

My hubby has discovered that he loves to garden. He finds it calming to plan, dig and plant and then watch the beauty of his work blossom as the seasons change.

Courtesy of Flickr

What's your path to an enthusiastic attitude? Do you garden? Do woodworking? Draw or sew? I challenge you to find a way to kindle your enthusiasm today and make time for it.

It is my goal to end the stigma and suffering that comes with PTSD. I blog about PTSD once a week, searching the mountains of information out there and bringing you the best of what I find. I review a book on PTSD every other week and I publish a weekly encouraging reflection and tweet encouraging quotes for PTSD survivors daily, follow me to be encouraged. Together we can make a difference.

When I'm not blogging about PTSD or trying to encourage those of you living with it, I'm an author. I write romance. I just finished my first book and I am revising and editing it. With any luck, it will be published later this year, in the meantime you can get a sample of my work on the web. Original work can be found here, and fanfiction can be found here. Let me know what you think, and tell me how you found me!

PTSD- the good, the bad and the ugly

PTSD is a repugnant creature, it's covered in the slime of anger and rage, fear and anxiety and once it has it's claws in you it can feel like a life sentence. It doesn't have to be like that but it can be frightening to admit that you've been captured by the darkness and once it has you in its icy grip it lies to you, trying to keep you there, isolated and lonely, as long as it can. It's time to break free from it's insidious lies, learn the truth, how to get and offer help and break free from it's stinking grip. That freedom starts with information, understanding and love, lots of love.

PTSD simply looks like a goblin, lets call it what it is- a disease that can be treated.

PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and according to the Mayo Clinic it's a mental health condition caused by either experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. It can express itself in life-changing ways and be debilitating for those to suffer from it and it doesn't just affect the individual who has it. PTSD can affect those who care for the sufferer as well. There is treatment available, a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak for those who suffer and those who love them.

Lets chat.

PTSD is real. It's not some made up problem designed to get attention. When an individual experiences a stressful event it can change the way the body responds to stress, affecting stress hormones and the chemicals that transmit information between the nerves (reference). These changes affect the way we see the world around us, suddenly a visit to the doctors office or the prospect of driving in public is beyond terrifying. The beast grabs its victim causing them to freeze up and avoid that which the beast says they can't handle anymore. The person who's been drawn in by the demons of PTSD avoid the triggers that stress them out or to act out against them in an effort to win the battle.

These changes can be debilitating for those who struggle with PTSD in their daily life. Road rage and avoidance aren't the only ways that the PTSD goblins show themselves, if they were then it might be easier to deal with (not really but we can hope). Often they rear their hideous heads in nightmares, flashbacks, overly emotional reactions and anxiety and depression to name a few and rarely does it come with only one or two manifestations. Some of my husbands symptoms include depression, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance, road rage, withdrawal and rage and each of these come with their own list of challenges as we work through them and learn to live again. They make simple day to day life a daunting prospect.

Lost in the desert of PTSD

As if the demons and goblins of PTSD weren't enough to make the prospect of living with them for the rest of your life a frightening prospect, they don't just affect the person who's suffering, their slimy tendrils reach out and grab everyone in the vicinity as well. PTSD affects the loved ones of those who struggle with it. They themselves can end up with PTSD from helping the sufferer or from dealing with their behaviors. I know myself that I simply can't drive with my husband behind the wheel. He has lost his temper too many times. Do I trust his driving? Absolutely! Can I remember that when we are in heavy New Jersey traffic? Never. It's just a fact of PTSD that we live with.

So what's to be done about this insidious mental health issue? First we can call it out, demand the demons and goblins show their faces by recognizing it as real, and by we I mean the general public. Second we can educate ourselves about it so that when it's mentioned we can carry on an intelligent conversation about it rather than mumble and change the subject (yes I've had that happen). Finally, we can equip ourselves to love and support those we know who suffer and their caregivers.

A little knowledge goes a long way

In my upcoming posts I will be discussing PTSD in more detail, the symptoms, the effects on family, and what sort of help is available. I will be posting an occasional journal entry, I hope to make it weekly soon, illustrating our journey with PTSD, I want you to know that you are not on this journey alone. I also intend to do a bi-weekly book review on a book about PTSD and list resources I have found for those suffering. My focus will be on veterans since that is my primary experience but it's important to note that it's not just a veteran problem and I will discuss that in more detail in another post. Lets keep this discussion going because the best way to find healing to pull those demons and goblins out into the light and let them burn.

PTSD or Pissed, Ticked, and Strong...Daily

As the caregiver for someone with PTSD all my days are busy, some more than others but it's important that I continue to care for myself so that I can care for him. He's my best friend, my biggest fan and ally and the one who cheers me on no matter what and he's a veteran with PTSD. I don't want him to end up a statistic in the annals of 22 Soldiers a Day, I need him next to me. This is the journey of one woman caring for her man as we walk through the carnage that PTSD has brought into our lives. Come join me Tuesday mornings as I share our struggles, our tears, and our victories and know that you are not alone.

I share not to receive accolades for my work but to let you know that you are not alone in yours. Come walk with me and let me show you my struggles. Show me yours and we will know, we are not alone. 

It's bedtime. We've shut the lights out and I am drifting off to sleep. I need it today, it's been a long day for me.

Up at 5:30, I make the bed, get dressed, make three smoothies, pack a lunch, make breakfast and have my tea in there somewhere, all by 6:30. This requires no small amount of multitasking but I know the morning will be calmer if it's done by the time he gets downstairs from shaving and getting dressed. After he's at work I come up to my office, I have a few hours to get my work done, writing a blog post, research, edit the chapter I will post that day and then it's off to the hair salon to get my roots done as I have a portrait appointment this weekend and I don't want roots in my author pics. Home from the salon I pick up the girls and we head to the gym for our workout, it's what helps me stay sane, knowing I'm feeling better. When we return, it's throw dinner in the oven, get cleaned up and then pick him up from work because when I need the car we have an elaborate dance called the one car shuffle, the only dance he knows. Home again with him, hoping dinner is done because we have a chiropractor appointment in ½ an hour and then he has his acupuncture for his back pain.

Dinners not done, I give him a protein bar and we'll eat when we get home, at 7.

So at 9 I'm falling asleep, I know I have to do it all over again tomorrow, minus the car shuffle, the salon and the gym. Tomorrow I'll just take a walk.

He's sighing next to me, tossing and turning, finally he sits up and grabs his tablet flipping it open.

“What's wrong?” I turn and face him, I'm hoping my frustration doesn't show, I need to sleep.

“I can't settle down, my minds racing.” His frustration shows in his voice and the shake of his head.

I scramble, what can I do to help him settle down because I know that if I don't help him settle down I won't be able to either. “Do you want to try a melatonin?” Sometimes they help.

“Yeah, but they're downstairs.”

Oh, I'm one step ahead of him. “Nah, I've got some in my bedside table.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Here.” I hand him one and watch him chew it. He puts the tablet away and we snuggle and chat for a few. I love his company.

I discuss a character I'm developing in my head and tell him he can stop listening if he feels himself drifting off from boredom. I'm simply trying to help him focus his mind enough to relax. I stroke his back lightly and his head, he loves that. Finally he is drifting off to sleep and so am I. It's 9:45.

I know I will be up at 2 AM, thinking, creating, it's what happens in my manic mind when a story is being born. I will lay in bed for a couple of hours and talk with my characters, get to know them and their struggles. I know it's coming and I know I need more sleep, 5:30 will arrive quickly tomorrow. But I've taken care of him, my first priority. He’s calm and tomorrow he'll be ready to face the day, well rested. Another success.

Thank you God for the strength to take care of my amazing husband.

One of the things I think people want to know the most is that they are not alone in their PTSD journey. The rages, the fear, the depression, there are others out there dealing with it too, and successfully. Come join me on my journey, share yours, we can hold each other up when the going is tough and cheer each other when it's not.