Manic Monday Musings
So I know everyone is buzzing with
Fifty Shades of Grey. And I'm not here to condemn or support it, I'm here simply with an observation.
I read this article about domestic
violence in Cambodia, I encourage you to read it also. It struck me what a cultural gap there is
between us. The women in Cambodia have virtually no recourse when
they are abused by their husbands.
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First of all, in Cambodia it's not
violence until somebody bleeds. That means that when the woman in
this article got hit over the head with the blunt end of a machete
she was not being abused, but when he chopped her fingers off with
it, it finally became a crime. WOW!
Second of all, the laws are designed to
preserve the family, not the woman's life. If a woman is abused,
and actually reports it because many don't, she has to submit to
mediation three times before the court will even consider divorce.
Combine that with the fact that 45% of the authorities considered it
to be okay for a man to beat his wife if she deserved it and that 42%
of wives accepted being drunk as a excuse for abuse and you end up
with a culture that accepts the regular abuse of woman. WOW!
Finally, because of the culture in
Cambodia, when a man does actually go to jail or prison for abusing
his wife she loses all her income. Cambodia is a culture where the
women don't work, can't work for a living wage and when you remove
the provider because he is abusing his wife she loses her security,
home, food, everything. She and her children become homeless. So
she is encouraged to not press charges, or to retract them if she
does in order to survive.
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Now let's compare this to America where
women are tweeting that they are “looking for their Mr Grey.” American women are fantasizing and asking to be tied up and,
essentially, abused. What a difference. I'm not judging anyone who
desires this, or finds it erotic, it takes all types, I'm simply
thankful that I live in a culture where I can make the choice.
I'm thankful that I live in a culture
where I could leave my husband if he wasn't treating me the way I
wanted to be treated. Where I could earn a living and support my
children, albeit maybe not as well as he has but I could. Where if I
call the police because my husband came after me with a machete they
wouldn't shrug and wonder what I was making a fuss over.
I know there is a lot wrong with our
culture, we still have racism and inequality, and homeless people and poverty,and on and on but there is a lot right with it also.
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Virginia Slims, if you are old enough
to remember them, used a slogan for a while, “You've come a long
way, baby.” I agree we have. And we need to keep pressing forward
because this is not a sprint it is a marathon and we have many laps
to go. It is our example that will encourage others to step up and
do the right thing, lets remember that.
Toodles
